Miniblog #147: Why I’ve Been Sucking at Life and What I’m Going to Do About It
I’m not gonna lie. For three years I’ve felt like I suck at life and have been poorly transitioning into life after college. I’ve been thriving in few areas and languishing in most. Last night I made a bit of a breakthrough, though. An old college friend pointed out that I need to find some sort of deep, intrinsic motivation for being healthier.11.Specifically, eating better. He said it can’t be something I feel like should motivate me. It needs to be something that does motivate me. Otherwise it won’t happen. It was wise counsel. After getting off the phone I dug deeper, applying this insight to the multiplicity of trouble areas… and promptly felt overwhelmed. I’ve been struggling to find motivation almost anywhere. In all these areas it’s like I’m trying to draw from a reservoir that’s already bone dry.22.Continuously more areas have been slipping. It has been a downward spiral, like a Rust Belt city whose shrinking population means less tax revenue and fewer police officers, which in turn means more crime and greater need, which only accelerates population decline. A thoroughly depressing prospect. This led me to question why I feel so depleted in the first place. Then I asked myself how I might finally refill this motivational reservoir. I see now that I’ve been putting off the answers because they’re circumstantially difficult and societally atypical. But after taking a good, hard look in the mirror I finally accepted the truth: The fuel that propels everything is rigorous academic-intellectual discourse–often touching upon faith themes–expressed within close community.33.I’m desperate for a small group of friends with whom I can have regular, lengthy Inklings sorts of discussions. Honestly, I’ve been putting it near the bottom of my priorities list because other things have seemed more important and pressing. That was idiotic. It’s time for a major lifestyle change. What I’m going to do is make a concerted effort push this to #3 on my priority list behind only marriage and work. Everything, and I do mean everything, else must be subservient because all else will continue to whither if I don’t get replenished. The life of the mind must once again take preeminence. It’s the only way for me to pursue God, stop sucking at life, and return to thriving.44.Now, how the heck do I find these people?